Her Doctor Sure Got a Surprise

Not the sort of surprise I got while we were in the restroom at the Daniel O’Donnell concert; but I think it was a shock nonetheless.

December 7th, 2022 – Post #59

Here’s a medical update, and another classic moment in my mom’s life:

We took her to the doctor Monday, to get a second opinion on her current blood pressure medicine. He agreed with the Hospice doctor: she should remain on the current dose. Increasing it, while she is already so unsteady on her feet, would put her at greater risk of falling. Plus, she’s come close to fainting in the past while on a higher dose.

Stress seems to increase her blood pressure, and ironically, stress over her blood pressure being elevated, seems to increase it the most.

The doctor’s prescription was simple: Quit measuring your blood pressure so often.

I was so glad he said that.

She reminded him that she was a cardiothoracic ICU nurse and knew what she was talking about; but he wouldn’t budge. They exchanged amiable banter and it ended with both laughing. Good thing she thought he was “so nice,” “and so personable,” “and so cute,” or he might not have gotten off the hook so easily. She didn’t like that she didn’t get her way; but it did give her more peace of mind to get that second opinion.

This Was Painted in Several Spots in the Parking Lot – Maybe As a Reminder For Those Following Loved Ones, Ever So Slowly, As They Push Walkers…

I wasn’t present for today’s appointment, when my mom went to get steroid injections for her hip and knee. All I can do is give you a secondhand synopsis of details I’ve gathered from my parents.

I kind of have to.

Apparently, they told the orthopedic doctor, “Our daughter posts things on CaringBridge, so you’ll probably be able to read about this tomorrow.”

I guess I better not let him down. After all, he might already be disappointed he didn’t get to keep the thirty dollars he found fair and square.

“Where did he find it?” you might be wondering.

I suppose inquiring minds would want to know.

Sometimes I feel like my mom ought to have her own reality show…

According to her, she was supplied with an enormous pair of blue paper bloomers, to don over her undergarments, just prior to the procedure.

*Said undergarments were cut from the same cloth as the azure britches – or should I say, they didn’t fall far from the same tree, having also been manufactured of paper… but I should be keeping this “Brief”.

Anyway, as the medical man was preparing to prepare the injection sight, he saw something unexpected, near her right hip. Amused and confused, he asked, “Is this for me?”

My dad looked up to see him holding a roll of money.

My mom saw it, and of course, started laughing. She was the only one who knew where that money had come from; but due to a declining memory, had forgotten all about it.

I’m just shaking my head and laughing. Maybe this is my fault. I’ve convinced her not to carry a purse, because it complicates things, swinging back and forth like a wrecking ball from her shoulder, with her arms stretched out like Superman, as she tries to keep up with her walker, insisting she’s fine carrying her purse. When I take it for her, it usually somehow entangles my hair in her walker and my purse, so I try to convince her to leave it home, since that’s probably not good for my blood pressure.

To prevent this, I usually load her pants or jacket pockets before she leaves, with anything I think she’ll need; but I wasn’t present for her departure from the house today, and I don’t think she was wearing pockets, because I thought she ought to have pants without metal for an x-ray, and it was warm enough to go without a jacket…

When I asked her why she even had money with her and what she’d intended to buy, she said, “I wasn’t gonna buy anything. I just like to have a little money with me. It makes me feel more secure.” She was wearing that grin of hers that declared she was still humored by the doctor’s surprise.

I just laughed and shook my head, thinking, “I guess it’s her way of still declaring her in-depend-ence – by keeping a roll of cash stashed in the side seam of her Depends.”

I guess advertising works. She probably thought she’d put that wad of cash in a very secure place indeed. After all, the box in her bedroom declares, “Trusted Protection”.

I’m just glad it was discovered in the seclusion of the doctor’s office, instead of her reaching for it while dining out with friends. I wonder if he thought it was supposed to be some sort of a tip!

If she does offer to buy you a meal and starts reaching for her side, please, by all means, tell her, “That’s okay, don’t worry about it!”

We will certainly reimburse you! 😊

Don’t miss my next post, when I address how to end a marital dispute.

*To read more on my mom’s cancer journey from the beginning, or share it, please click below:

It’s Cancer

Jody

I'm not sure what to say here: I once got second place in a dog-look-alike-contest? I know how to fold a fitted sheet? I'm pretty much a poster child for social backwardness - at least as far as social media is concerned; but I have some stories I think I'm supposed to share and am attempting to do that here, in this space.

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